Inside Everybody Is Nuts
let's get the name straight
Apostrophes not wanted here!
Self Check-Out
The machine blinks awake.
“Please scan your first item"
I scan the bananas.
“Unexpected item in bagging area.”
I remove them.
“Place item in bagging area.”
I place them back.
“Please wait for assistance.”
The attendant taps the screen.
“Happens all the time.”
I nod.
“Machines have trust issues.” Even the machines want to be understood.
the fly in my latte
It looked at me. Not in a bug way.
In a "now we are in a "relationship” way.
In that instant, I understood something profound:
This fly believed it owned my latte. I was the guest.
the pop-up emmotional Support DepaRTMENT
One day, I became a crisis counselor because I was wearing my “Everybody Is Nuts” shirt and standing too confidently near a bulletin board.
A woman approached me like I was an employee of the universe.
“Excuse me,” she said. “Are you the person we talk to?”
“My husband only shows his feelings when the remote is missing.”
Permission often arrives wearing the wrong shirt.
